Proverbs 5

Proverbs 5 is one of many warnings about the dangers of adultery that are found in the book of Proverbs. This chapter also tells married couples how to live so that we can avoid the path of adultery –that only leads to destruction. 

This chapter reminds us to be attentive to Wisdom “that you may exercise proper discrimination and discretion and your lips may guard and keep knowledge and the wise answer [to temptation]” (v2)

Whether you are married or plan to be married one day it is hard in society today to use discrimination and discretion when it comes to relating to the opposite sex. 

On a personal note, when my relationship ended I felt I needed to be with a man, and I would have sex with just about anyone so that I could feel wanted. Over 4 ½ years ago I made the conscious decision to follow God’s rules on this and I quit being promiscuous and I decided to go on a “sex strike” until I am married. Now, after living the way I had since I was abused for the first time when I was 12 this wasn’t exactly an easy decision to make. I found that men really had no interest in me once I had decided that I was going to wait to be married. I lost what I had thought were my “friends” yet I stuck to my guns and have held firm in my conviction that I will wait until I am married before I have a physically intimate relationship with anyone. It was damaging my soul to be giving pieces of myself to these people who didn’t care about me, who were just using me. On top of that, I have two children who I need to set a positive example for so that they can hopefully learn from my mistakes (not that I regret my children, but life was and is hard because of decisions I made as a kid) and maybe even enter into a courtship type relationship that is God centered. I would love so much for their first kiss to be on their wedding days and intimacy to be with their husband or wife. I know God has forgiven me for my sinful behaviour but it is definitely hard to forgive myself. I pray to the Lord to send me the man who was created to be my other half, who will understand my past and accept it, knowing that I have given my life to Christ Jesus not only to better myself, but to better my family and to be as pure as possible when the one who God sends does come along. This is one of the reasons why I call myself a born again-again Christian. Although I had accepted Jesus as my Lord and saviour years and years ago it wasn’t until Easter 07 that I was truly reborn and decided to not only accept Jesus as my saviour, but to focus on His Wisdom and the Word so that I could live a life that would make Him proud!

Now, back to Proverbs 5; Two sins of the flesh that Satan uses in the world to gain control over people are sexual immorality and adultery. The world has decided to listen to Satan’s ways and pushes adultery through media and literature as if it was no big deal at all. Actually, it is more normal now for a person to marry after having multiple partners than it is for a virgin to marry in North America. Our divorce rates are also nearly 50%! Because we are overly exposed to this on every channel, every news cast, every political scandal it has become normal for infidelity or adultery. 

If you look at your Bible and study the Word and learn Gods Wisdom you will see quite quickly that God’s perspective of these immoral actions is that ‘Sin will kill you—and adultery is one of the biggest killers.’ Adultery steals your happiness. It destroys marriage. It ruins other people’s lives. It kills trust. It is one of the most dangerous temptations a man or a woman can ever yield to! The bible warns us that the feet of the adulteress “go down to death; her steps take hold of Sheol (Hades, the place of the dead)” (v5). The person who commits adultery “loses sight of and walks not in the path of life” (v6)

When you are faced with the beginning of a possible adulterous moment you need to say NO to evil and get yourself out of the situation before you allow the devil to take hold of you. It is often nice when a young woman or man flirts with you, especially if you have a wife and kids at home and she is too busy taking care of the family then to flatter you. Once you allow this young woman to flirt or you flirt back you have committed a moral sin. You are allowing Satan in. If you are telling yourself it is okay because you are only talking or having fellowship you are lying to yourself. Satan is the father of all lies! Do not give in to this attention. Instead, tell the person you are happily married and that you have no intention of jeopardizing your family because of flattery. If they laugh you off or continue with their behaviour cut them out of your life. Do NOT give Satan a foothold over your heart, your soul and your physical body. You cannot afford to even flirt around with the thought of adultery. It’s an extremely strong and dangerous force. Just turn away from the path of evil. Follow wisdom’s counsel: “Avoid the very scenes of temptation” (v8). You don’t have any business enjoying someone else’s company of the opposite sex if your spouse isn’t there with you. You’re p laying a deadly game and the consequences are terrible to consider. “Lest you give honor to others and your years to those without mercy…. And you groan and mourn when your end comes (vv 9,11).

Hebrews 13:4 tells us about the honor of intimacy that should be reserved only for your spouse: “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge”. Notice it doesn’t say MAY judge, it says GOD WILL JUDGE!!! God is not playing when he tells us to keep our marital bed sacred (or any bed you may use, sorry no hotel loophole on this), He is very serious and tells us we WILL be judged if we do not bring honor to our marriage and stay true to ourselves, our spouse and to Him. God expects the covenant of marriage to be honored. 

“Drink waters out of your own cistern [of a pure marriage relationship], and fresh running waters out of your own well” (v15). We are to full enjoy our relationship with our own spouse! This piece of scripture is also Gods answer to sexually transmitted diseases. If we only drink waters out of our own cistern there will be no chance of spreading or catching an STD! Many couples in our society find out that their partner has been unfaithful when they go in for their annual check-up and are diagnosed with a potentially fatal STD. I recall watching a woman on TV talking about her husband being unfaithful to her by having sexual relations with men while he was travelling for work. She found out she was HIV positive during routine blood tests during her annual examination. How devastated she must have been to have not only found out her husband was cheating, but he had also given her a death sentence! 

The bible goes on to say, “Let your fountain [of human life] be blessed [with the rewards of fidelity], and rejoice in the wife of your youth” (v18). This scripture tells us that God has set aside treasures for those who drink from their own cistern and one of those treasures is finding joy in the person you married!

God doesn’t want us to be like the adulterer: “His own iniquities shall ensnare the wicked man, and he shall be held with the cords of his sin. He will die for lack of discipline and instruction, and in the greatness of his folly he will go astray and be lost” (vv22-23)

God created the family – it’s His own design. And for you who have no family, God Himself has placed you in His. “God places the solitary in families and gives the desolate a home in which to dwell….” (Psalm 68:6). 

God wanted a family around Him, so He created man and woman and told them to be fruitful and multiply – He said He will bless our seed – our family. God has purposed that one man and one woman come together in marriage and produce sons and daughters to surround them all of their days. And “the gift goes on” – grandchildren, great-grandchildren. There is no end to blessing in the families of God. Each generation should be stronger. There is no blessing greater than a family. Faithfulness to the marriage covenant keeps the family intact.

Gloria Copeland’s Wisdom for Today

Don’t feed our mind (through television, movies books, etc.) on the world’s message that “adultery is no big deal”

Don’t even toy around with the thought of adultery.

Make the decision to give honor to the one you married by staying faithful.

Although, today I did reword some things, remove some things and add some things, there are many direct quotes from Gloria Copeland's book Hidden Treasures I once again found today's reading very inspirational especially while I wait for the one who God plans for me to marry!
If you have a daughter who is beginning to show interest in boys there is a very special book called “Before You Meet Prince Charming” by Sarah Mally. I have ordered it for my daughter for Christmas from Chapters. It is about saving yourself for the one God has created for you and keeping your heart pure. It is a fairy tale that is scripture based. I have not yet received my copy but I have heard wonderful things about it. It was even mentioned on an episode of TLC’s show 19 Kids and Counting. My daughter is only 9 and I have heard it is for a slightly older group of girls but I plan to read it with her if she can’t read it herself. I am very excited!!