Finding Thanks

Finding Thanks in a world of chaos can definitely be hard these days. It seems as though all you here is one complaint after another which can easily bring you down emotionally and physically. The fact is that we must all remain strong in our faith with the Lord and if we look around and don’t see a single thing to be thankful for then we really need to sit back and take inventory. The smallest things are gifts from the Lord. The roof over your head, whether it’s your own, a friends or a shelter. The beautiful weather and the moon and the stars. Your family, your friends, your pets. Unfortunately on this list we often forget to give thanks for God! I am so grateful that I am His child and that He is my Father. I will go to Heaven because of His sacrifice for me. My children will remain safe and my angels were saved from the pains of this world and brought straight up into His arms. How blessed they are for that. I know that for me it is hard but that is just my human nature. When I pass I will be reunited with the Lord and my children who have been taken care of by the Most High! In spite of the pain that evil tries to make me feel I have to keep strong in my faith and know that this profound love was not in vain. It was for a reason and that reason came from God which changed my life forever. My heart has love in it that wouldn’t have existed had God not sent me angels to love. I am truly blessed!

My list of things to be thankful for started four years ago when I was in my deepest of depressions. I was told by a social worker that I should take inventory and right down three things every single day in a journal that I was grateful for. At first this was difficult. It was hard to be grateful for anything. I would sit there with one thing written down (usually my children) and I would stare at the two blank slots below, as though if I stared long enough they would magically fill in. I grew frustrated with this “project” and I often abandoned it. I was reading the Bible and doing Bible studies at this time. Soon enough three things weren’t enough. I was grateful for so many things that I had always taken for granted. Things that many may believe to be silly, but I wasn’t seeing through my eyes anymore, instead I was seeing the world through Gods eyes. Suddenly every color was beautiful, I was thankful for purple and orange and green. I was happy to have pencil crayons so I could draw the water and leaves and trees that I so desperately missed. I was thankful that I had a home to come back to with two beautiful children waiting. I was excited to make coffee or have something to eat! My list grew and grew and before I knew it I was filing up every line in my journal with things I was thankful for. I know this is redundant but giving Praise to the Lord Jesus and having Him open my eyes to the beauty that is life really changed my thought process.

Some days, I am not grateful, I am not happy. I am sad and depressed and I don’t want to be here anymore. I have begged the Lord to scoop me up and take me home, but it isn’t my time to go. I know that now. I also know that even at my most irrational God will prevail and rational life will greet me on the other side. God does not see my wounds as scars. He created me without scars without injury or sickness and I know that by His stripes I am healed. Maybe not today, but in His perfect timing I will return to Him and I will be healed and I will be whole and I will be grateful for the life I had because I saw things and met people that I never would have experienced had I not experienced the pains I have felt. Everything has an opposite for me my darkness opens my world to the light –God!