Today’s Blog is actually going to be a part of my Facebook post today. I know that that isn’t exactly spiritual, but the message here, and I am not even going to pull out my Bible, is that I survived! I survived a living hell and so did she. Not only did we survive but thousands upon thousands have survived as well. Our families are whole and our minds are healing and for me that is because of God.
My faith was lost because of God, a minister, my ex- father in law, preached that my “behaviour” was why I needed to be “punished” and that I couldn’t “obey” and therefore my “punishment” and “training” was necessary. I was also threatened to be sold to the highest bidder and locked in a cage.
So today, I don’t post about the Lord Jesus directly, instead I post about what He saved me from and how you really need to watch out for those wolves in sheep’s clothing that you may trust because of their “authority”. I remind myself almost daily that even Satan knows scripture; he is a fallen angel after all.
My prayer for today is that God brings peace to all those who are suffering at the hands of another person, whether it’s happening today or years ago. I ask that He brings healing to each of us and that those of us who felt that it was God who hurt us can turn back to Him the way I have and hand their lives over to Him, knowing it was man who caused the pain, NOT God!
My Facebook Posts:
Reading Jaycee Dugard’s book "A Stolen Life" and she says at the beginning that she doesn’t expect you to understand because if you understand then you would of experienced it and she wouldn’t wish that on anyone... well unfortunately I have been in tears since page 2, its like reading my own life story, except I wasn’t taken from my family, I was only threatened that if I said anything we would all be killed.... She talks about being raped for the first time and what went through her mind and her body and I am remembering my own tragic moments, only I was a year older than she was when it began for me..... I can't even call myself triggered at this point. I feel like the gun is loaded, aimed at my head and is about to be pulled.... it hurts me so bad to know another person has felt how I felt... and she had to have felt it worse because she was separated, at least I didn’t have to go through that too... -sigh-
My Second Facebook Post:
Well, I am now more than halfway through the book and I am seeing what happened to her and how it happened to me, the mind games, the threats, the manipulation, the being able to go into a Wal-Mart and not say a word about the invisible chains that you feel holding you where you should be. It’s been six years since I escaped and I still wake up in the night and can feel the restraints on my wrists ankles and throat, and then I look around and realize I am in my safe haven that no one knows exists. Six years and every click, knock or bang causes every hair on my body to stand up thinking today is the day they are going to take me back. Jaycee says in her book that it was really hard to let her kids go to school because she had always homeschooled them and felt scared about what was out there that she couldn’t control, and then she reminds herself that only 1% of abductions are stranger abductions and that gives her some peace. I often wonder if I am as over protective and on guard for the same reasons... maybe I am trying to protect myself more so than the kids because I know exactly how messed up this world is.... For some reason people trust me and over the past 7 years of my life many people I have spoken to or met have revealed to me some form of abuse and I wonder if every single one of those people stood up and said "I WAS VICTIMIZED TOO" what that would do to those statistics... the world we know doesn’t scare me, it’s the one we don’t know that terrifies me and plagues my thoughts. Until we all group together and unite as one without fear no one will ever know the truth about what happens behind closed doors. Unfortunately fear keeps that invisible chain pulled tight and it takes years for people to reveal the truth if they reveal it at all.... I have to stop writing now, I am too upset.... sorry
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